


wont say which way to go (just trust your heart)

by questionmark007



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, ej is confused, ricky is bi, they both have the emotional range of a teaspoon, they're both idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23704468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/questionmark007/pseuds/questionmark007
Summary: “You all will not believe what I am about to tell you.” Carlos was almost buzzing with excitement.“If it’s about The Notebook musical, we already know,” Nini said gesturing to her phone. Seb and Gina nodded in agreement.“What?” Carlos looked confused. “No, This is about our very own, dear Richard Bowen catching the eye of a senior.”EJ was glad he hadn’t been taking a drink of water or else he’s sure it would’ve been sprayed all over the table.--or the one where Ricky gets asked out and everyone's thrilled for him (except for EJ)
Relationships: Ricky Bowen/E.J. Caswell, minor big red/ashlyn caswell - Relationship
Comments: 34
Kudos: 226





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first RJ/Caswen fic! I've read a few with a similar premise but I wanted to do my own and see what kind of twists I could come up with. 
> 
> Title comes from Scream from HSM 3

“Why so serious?” Ashlyn nudged EJ and he snapped back to reality, pushing all of his thoughts aside. They were at the drama table in the cafeteria, where lunch was well underway, and he’d been zoned out since he sat down.

“No reason, Ash. Just thinking.” He shrugged and started pulling out his lunch. It was nothing exciting. Water Polo was starting soon, so he was on a diet of mostly bland and boring “rabbit food”. He did though have a bag of baby carrots, which he didn’t particularly care for, but he knew Ricky would steal them and it’d give EJ a chance to bicker with him.

God, he was pathetic.

EJ’s still not entirely sure how it happened, but he and Ricky were spending more and more time together, hanging out regularly.

Ricky and Nini had dated for about a week after High School Musical ended, then decided they were better as friends and broke up. He’d been pissed off at first, when they got back together, which EJ had just assumed was due to the fact that his ex was now back with her ex so Ricky had “won” whatever petty game they’d been playing (admitting this to Ashlyn one night had resulted in a VERY long and VERY loud lecture about how people weren’t games to win and how he should have more respect for Nini and Ricky’s relationship and both of them individually as people.)

She’d been right, of course, so EJ had made an effort over winter break to hang out with Nini and Ricky, individually, to make amends.

And it had worked.

He and Ricky had become surprisingly good friends, even if they still argued from time to time.

“Wow, that sounds deep.” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows. “Anything you wanna share?”

EJ shook his head, glancing around at their usually full table. Nini, Gina and Seb were deep in conversation about something, huddled together, looking at Seb’s phone. Big Red and Kourtney were complaining about some crew meeting Ms. Jenn had made them attend the day before. There were two seats empty, Carlos and Ricky being the ones absent. Another glance around the cafeteria showed Carlos hurrying towards their table, but the curly haired boy EJ was looking for was nowhere to be found.

It was weird for Ricky to be late to lunch. Usually he was one of the first at the table, because the class that he had before lunch was next to the cafeteria.

Not that EJ knew his schedule or anything…

Carlos slid into one of the empty seats, eyes on fire and looking thrilled. “You all will not _believe_ what I am about to tell you.” He was almost buzzing with excitement. EJ would have been more interested if he wasn’t so preoccupied with where Ricky was.

“If it’s about The Notebook musical, we already know,” Nini said gesturing to her phone. Seb and Gina nodded in agreement.

“What?” Carlos looked confused. “No, this isn’t anything to do with Broadway or musical theater… though we will circle back to that” he pointed at Nini’s phone before remembering whatever it was that he wanted to tell them and snapping back to being enthused: “but no! This is about our very own, dear Richard Bowen catching the eye of a senior.”

EJ was glad he hadn’t been taking a drink of water or else he’s sure it would’ve been sprayed all over the table. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach. Surely, Carlos wasn’t talking about him, right? And if Carlos wasn’t talking about him, then who…?

No, EJ didn’t want to go there.

The table erupted with questions:

“What? Ricky? Who’s into Ricky?”

“Carlos, you can’t just stop there! Say more words!”

“A senior? What senior?”

Carlos was clearly thrilled with the response his announcement received. He grinned and leaned forward dramatically: “Well, a little birdie told me that Sean Rogers is going to ask Ricky out…”

EJ felt his stomach drop to the floor. Oh, this was not good. This was very not good.

“Sean Rogers??” Seb asked, wide-eyed. “As in Sean Rogers, the captain of the boys’ varsity soccer team?”

“Yes, _that_ Sean Rogers.” Carlos wiggled his eyebrows and EJ felt like he was going to throw up.

“Wow! Sean Rogers is hot. Good for Ricky!” Nini looked impressed and Gina and Seb nodded in agreement. (EJ begrudgingly had to admit they had a point: Sean Rogers _was_ good-looking in a James Dean kind of way, if you were into that sort of thing. Personally, EJ thought _he_ was better-looking than Sean Rogers, but he wasn’t about to voice that.)

“Wait, how do they even know each other?” Kourtney asked. “Ricky doesn’t exactly spend a lot of time with jocks.”

_Except me_ , EJ mused bitterly.

“Apparently, they’re in the same government and civics class.” Carlos explained, pulling out his own lunch. “They got paired up for a project and really hit it off.”

EJ decided to just give up on eating for today. He’d lost his appetite. He pulled out his phone to see if Ricky had texted.

He hadn’t.

“Sean also comes to the skatepark sometimes.” Big Red piped up. “We hung out with him a bit over break.”

“Ugh! A skatepark romance!” Carlos sighed dramatically. “Too cute!”

“That’s not really a thing, but…” Big Red trailed off at the look Carlos gave him.

“Wait, Carlos,” Ashlyn cut in. “How do you know Sean’s gonna ask Ricky out? Telephone gossip never translates well.”

EJ had never been more pleased to have his cousin, the voice of reason, in his friend group than in this moment. If this was one of those “Sam told Charlie who told Jessica who told Max who told me” chains, then this could all be a big misunderstanding and EJ’s gotten all worked up over nothing.

“Ashlyn, I am so glad you asked,” Carlos took a deep breath. _Shit._ He was enjoying this way too much, in EJ’s opinion. “Sean Rogers is in my Spanish class and I heard him telling Jack Wilson that he was going to be late to lunch because he’s going to catch Ricky to ask him out.”

“It’s happening right now??” Seb gasped and EJ felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. This was the worst lunch period he’s ever experienced.

The table hummed with excitement.

“We’re halfway through lunch,” Gina glanced at the time on her phone. “Where is he?”

“Seriously, how long does it take to ask someone out?” Big Red asked, craning his neck to look for a sign of his best friend. When no one answered, he clarified: “That was a serious question. I’ve never been a part of that type of conversation before.”

“Aren’t you and Ashlyn dating?” EJ finally broke his silence, confused enough by the other boy to temporarily forget his current crisis.

“Yeah, but like…” Big Red glanced at Ashlyn and shrugged. “I don’t know. It was different than this, ya know?”

“Boy, you make no sense.” Kourtney looked as confused as EJ felt. “But get ready, because here comes Ricky.”

The whole table turned to look where Kourtney pointed, and sure enough, Ricky was walking towards them, head down like he was trying not to be noticed. He glanced up as he got closer to the table and EJ noticed his cheeks were tinged pink, like he’d been blushing.

Another bolt of irritation shot through EJ.

Suddenly, he wanted to be the one making Ricky blush. 

“Can we ask him about Sean?” Seb asked the table quietly.

“No, let’s let him tell us.” Ashlyn suggested and the group nodded and fell silent as Ricky walked up. Ricky took the only empty seat at the table, head still down and looking tense. It took him a minute to realize the table was completely silent.

He looked up, glancing around at them, confused. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ us, mister!” Nini said, affronted. “Where have you been?”

“Oh…” Ricky frowned. “I was just talking to someone. Lost track of time.”

“Cut the shit, Richard.” Gina cut in, seemingly having had enough of waiting for him to come clean. “What’s going on with you and Sean Rogers?”

“I—,“ Ricky looked like a deer in headlights. He glanced at EJ, who was determinedly not looking at him. “How do you know about that? It literally _just_ happened!”

“The school’s gossip mill works fast.” Carlos said easily. “Especially when one of the hottest guys in school is going to ask out a theater dork.”

“I—I’m more of a skater?” Ricky said weakly.

“No, what you are is going out with Sean Rogers.” Kourtney told him, taking a sip of her water.

“Oh, no. No, I’m not.” Ricky shook his head and EJ’s eyes snapped to him. He suddenly felt like he could breathe again.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Seb asked slowly, putting a hand on Carlos’s arm to stop him from (EJ could only assume) starting to yell at Ricky.

“I mean no,” Ricky shrugged again, sparing another glance at EJ, who was now looking at him, though his expression was unreadable. “He asked, I said no. It’s no big deal.”

“No big—? Ricky, you just turned down _Sean Rogers._ That is a _very_ big deal.” Carlos told him emphatically. “He’s the captain of the boys’ varsity soccer team. He’s a senior. He’s one of the hottest guys in the school _and_ he’s actually like a _good_ person. Why would you say no?”

Ashlyn cut in: “Yeah, he’s in the group that tutors middle school kids after school and apparently he also volunteers a few times a month at the local animal shelter.” EJ rescinds any compliment he paid Ashlyn earlier. She may be his cousin but she’s also a traitor.

“Yeah, I know.” Ricky nodded. “I’m just not interested.”

“Not interested?” EJ had never seen Carlos look more frustrated or close to killing someone as in that moment. Which was saying something, given that Carlos had spent most of the year trying to teach them how to dance. “Ricky, _everyone’s_ interested in Sean Rogers. And you just said no? How often is one of the hottest and most sought after guys in school going to be into you?”

Ricky caught EJ’s eye again, giving him a look that said, _‘can you believe this?’_ and EJ fought back a smile despite himself.

Ricky reached across the table and stole a few of EJ’s carrots. “Carlos, if it’s that important to you, why don’t you go out with him?”

Carlos snorted. “I would if he was interested and if I wasn’t already dating Seb.”

“Thanks, babe,” Seb rolled his eyes at Carlos.

“Dude, you’re my best friend and I love you,” Big Red began, “but this is literally the dumbest decision you’ve ever made.”

Ricky started laughing. “It wouldn’t even top five, dude. Remember when I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and then got attacked by the squirrel?”

Big Red started cracking up too at the memory, “Yeah, that was pretty dumb! You had to get, like, three rabies shots!”

“I still have a scar!” Ricky started pulling up his sleeve to show the scar but Nini cut in before he could:

“Here’s what I don’t understand,” she began, looking at Ricky carefully. “You’re bi, you’re out, you’re not dating anyone, so what do you have to lose from going on one date with Sean?”

“I told you,” Ricky said earnestly, “I’m just not interested in him.”

“I think Nini’s right.” The words came out of EJ’s mouth before he could even process them. Everyone looked at him. “Why would you say no? What’s one date with a hot jock going to do?”

Ricky froze and stared at EJ like he had three heads, his hand suspended midair, halfway to the carrots.

It was like EJ was watching a car crash in slow motion with no power to stop it.

Why the hell was he encouraging Ricky to go on a date with this guy?

“Well, either way,” Ricky said slowly, retreating his hand, sans carrots. “I’ve already said no so that’s it.”

“Sean’s a super nice guy,” EJ shrugged, hating himself more and more with every word. He’s pretty sure everyone at the table was aware of the weird tension in the air. “I’m sure he’d understand if you said you changed your mind.”

“Maybe so,” Ricky nodded, still looking confused as the bell signaling the end of lunch rang. “But I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Your loss, then.” EJ muttered, grabbing his stuff and hightailing it out of the cafeteria as quickly as he could.

But not quick enough to miss the hurt and confused expression on Ricky’s face.

_Shit._

_Shit shit shit_

_What was wrong with him?_

EJ sped as quickly as he could to the nearest bathroom, the last six weeks or so racing through his head so quickly it was making him lightheaded.

The bathroom was mercifully empty so EJ made his way to a sink and turned on the cold water, trying to focus on his breathing. Counting backwards, ten slow, deep breaths.

Ten.

_The music was blaring, lights were flashing, and EJ’s head was pounding, largely due to the amount of alcohol he’d ingested in the last few hours. He didn’t love house parties, but it was an end of semester deal and he didn’t have anything better to do._

_Someone stumbled into him. He steadied them, only to realize he recognized them._

_“Hey, Bowen.” He greeted. “Didn’t take you for a party guy.”_

_“Yeah, well, it’s not a bad way to kill a few hours if you can’t sleep.” Ricky shrugged. EJ could tell he was a few drinks in himself._

_EJ was feeling bold and not entirely coherent himself so he said, “Oh, that’s not an issue for me, but I am prepared to lose a few with you.”_

_Ricky squinted at him: “Did you just quote Iron Man at me?”_

_“I’m not just a theater kid, Bowen. I’ve got layers.” EJ puffed out his chest a bit, totally unsure of why he was doing or saying any of this as Ricky laughed._

Nine.

_“I’m just saying, I don’t think it can be called a jukebox musical if it’s songs from just one artist.” Ricky shrugged, stuffing a handful of popcorn in his mouth._

_“I hear you. You’ve been making the same argument for twenty minutes,” EJ groused. “I get your point, but can you just shut up so I can watch Meryl Streep have the time of her life on this random Greek island?”_

_“Only if we can watch something with explosions later.” Ricky offered, leaning into EJ’s side and grabbing another handful of popcorn._

_“Deal.”_

Eight.

_“Do you want to talk about it?”_

_“What’s to talk about?” EJ shrugged. “We’d been drinking, it happened, let’s move on.”_

_“Yeah, it’s just that’s what you said the last two times.” Ricky pointed out, pulling his jacket on. “and neither of us actually drank that much...I mean, you were the DD tonight…”_

_“Just leave it, Bowen.” EJ sighed. He didn’t want to talk about it. He_ couldn’t _. Not yet._

Seven.

Six.

“ _Dude, I’m starving. Let’s go get tacos.”_

_“Did you call me for a ride home just because you wanted me to take you to get food?” EJ asked, mildly exasperated, watching Ricky buckle his seatbelt._

_“No, I figured we’d do other stuff too, like hang out. Maybe watch_ Sing _again. Tacos are just a bonus.” Ricky grinned, tapping against the helmet in his lap absently._

_“I swear, sometimes I think you only like me for my car.” EJ muttered, fighting a smile as he put the car in drive and started towards the exit of the parking lot._

_“Hmm, your body too,” Ricky teased, wiggling his eyebrows. “Let’s not forget that.”_

Five.

_“But…do you own shoes other than Vans?”_

_“Of course!” Ricky looked mildly offended. “I have some Converse too.”_

_“Ricky… that’s not what I meant,” EJ frowned. “Please tell me you know that’s not what I meant.”_

_“I think I’ve got some flip flops for summer, too.” Ricky looked thoughtful and EJ felt a migraine coming on._

_“Ricky, you cannot wear Vans, flip flops, or Converse to a New Year’s Eve party. It’s a fancy party.”_

_“What does it matter what I wear?” Ricky rolled his eyes. “We both know I’m going to be kissing you at midnight anyway.”_

Four.

Three.

_“You know, when you invited me over to watch tape of water polo games, I didn’t think you meant it,” Ricky piped up as the second hour of watching game tape began._

_“You thought I invited you over to… water polo and chill?” EJ asked amused, pausing the video._

_“Yeah! Why would I want to watch game tape of a sport I don’t know anything about?” Ricky gestured to the paused players on the screen. “I figured if anyone was going to be shirtless, it’d be us, not them.”_

_“…give me ten more minutes, and I’m yours.” EJ promised, suddenly feeling silly as Ricky got up from the couch._

_“Nah, take your time. I’ve got all day. Maybe I’ll learn something.” Ricky waved him off as he wandered towards the kitchen. “Want a snack?”_

Two.

_“School’s gonna suck tomorrow.”_

_  
“Why’s that?” EJ asked, pulling Ricky into his chest.  
  
_

_“We’re gonna be acting like nothing’s changed when everything has.” Ricky told him. “The drama club’s gonna freak that we’re not at each other’s throats all the time.”_

_“Maybe not like how we used to be,” EJ allowed, linking their hands. “But I’ve for sure left a few marks on yours.”_

_Ricky laughed. “Oh, I know. And you have to cut it out if you don’t want people asking where they came from.”_

_“Or…” EJ smirked, leaning in and slowly kissing up Ricky’s neck. “You could just start wearing turtlenecks and scarves all the time.”_

One.

He and Ricky had been hooking up, in secret, for weeks.

In secret because he, Elijah James Caswell, was a coward who wasn’t ready to admit that he liked boys, or that he liked one boy in particular.

The boy who had just been asked out by a guy who was everything that EJ was, _and more (like out,_ EJ thought bitterly _),_ and EJ had encouraged him to go for it. 

What had he done?


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of lunch - but from Ricky's POV now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally blown away by the response to this! Y'all are amazing and I hope you like part 2!

_“Your loss, then”_

_What the fuck_ , Ricky thought, watching EJ speed through the cafeteria.

“That was weird, right?” Ricky asked no one in particular as they all gathered their things to head to their next class of the day.

“Definitely weird.” Big Red agreed. Ricky felt better that he wasn’t the only one who found EJ’s behavior odd.

“Yeah, green really isn’t EJ’s color,” Gina joined in. Ricky’s head whipped around to look at her.

“What do you mean?” He asked. No one knew he and EJ were…whatever they were, so what could Gina think EJ was jealous over? Sean? That Sean asked Ricky out and not EJ? Could that really be it?

Gina shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, Ricky. Worry about if you’re gonna tell Jock Jams that you changed your mind about the date.” She walked off, leaving Ricky with his thoughts, swirling. And Big Red, who filled him in on everything he had missed at lunch, while they made their way to their next class.

Try as he might, Ricky couldn’t focus in his next class. He normally liked his physics class. Today, they were learning about velocity and doing the pre-lab work for an experiment with Hot Wheels cars and tracks. It was normally the sort of thing Ricky would be all over, but he just couldn’t focus on it. His mind kept going back to EJ and Gina’s words.

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense that EJ would want to date someone like Sean Rogers. They were both jocks. Both seniors. Both insanely attractive. Of course EJ would be jealous that _Sean Rogers_ would ask out someone like him.

But then, that didn’t explain why EJ was pushing Ricky to reconsider. Shouldn’t EJ be happy Ricky turned Sean down?

But Ricky also had to acknowledge that EJ wasn’t out. In all honesty, Ricky didn’t even know how EJ identified. They had never really talked about it and Ricky didn’t want to push him into any sort of label if he wasn’t ready.

Ricky needed advice, but the only person he could go to for something like this was Nini and he couldn’t because first, how awkward would it be to go to your ex for relationship advice on her other ex? And second because Nini didn’t know – that was the whole point of a _secret_ relationship. And anyway, he knows what Nini would say. She’d tell him to talk to EJ. And she’d be right.

Ugh. He hated this.

Ricky Bowen was not a person who faced his problems head-on. Big Red had joked once that for Ricky, it wasn’t a fight or flight response, it was just flight. Except it wasn’t a joke because it was totally true. His whole life was looking for an escape route to get out of conflict and difficult conversations.

But he knew what he had to do. He wasn’t going to let miscommunication and unspoken words ruin another relationship.

No time like the present, right?

_Hey can we talk after rehearsal today?_ Ricky texted EJ as the bell rang. (That was present enough, okay? School still had to come first.)

The reply was almost instantaneous: _sure_

Sighing, Ricky stowed his phone and made his way to his next class.

Now he just had to come up with what he wanted to say.

This was going to suck.

He made it through the rest of the day and rehearsal on autopilot. He could tell Ms. Jenn was frustrated with his lack of concentration, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care too much. He was still planning what he was going to say to EJ, who was actively avoiding him.

Or at least, that’s what Ricky assumed was happening. In EJ’s defense, his part in the musical was a lot bigger than Ricky’s so he had more to do at rehearsal, while Ricky had plenty of time to worry.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Ms. Jenn dismissed them for the day.

Everyone packed up and filtered out of the theater fairly quickly, including EJ. Ricky’s heart dropped.

  
Did he forget? Or was he really avoiding Ricky?

Ricky wandered out of the building trailing behind everyone else, trying not to feel too dejected. He stopped once he made it outside, putting his earbuds in before he got ready to skate home. He had just unhooked his skateboard from his backpack when he noticed EJ loitering near the doors to the school. They made eye contact and EJ started towards him.

“Hey,” Ricky said, nodding at the other boy, pulling his earbuds out.

“Hey.” He said back. “You…wanted to talk?” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his Letterman jacket and clenched his jaw.

“Yeah, I did. About what happened at lunch?” Ricky offered, hoping EJ would pick up on what he was trying to say and make this whole thing easier.

“What about it?” EJ grunted. _There went that plan,_ Ricky thought. _Heaven forbid EJ Caswell ever do something the easy way._

“You said I made a mistake, turning Sean down. Why?” Every fiber of Ricky’s being was telling him to run. Run away from the conflict and the difficult conversations but it’s like his feet were glued to the ground and he couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

“Yeah, I mean, Carlos and everyone was right: how often is a hot senior going to be into you?” EJ shrugged, looking annoyed. “Gotta take the opportunity when it comes.”

“…I mean… I kinda thought you…?” Ricky looked at EJ, searching for some sort of answer or clarity or _something_ that would explain whatever it was that was going through EJ’s head.

Surely the last few weeks hadn’t just been EJ killing time?

But isn’t that exactly what EJ had said to him that first night? That he was just looking for a way to kill a few hours?

So then, maybe, that’s all it had been, and it had run its course and EJ was over it now. Over him.

Ricky swallowed hard, trying to keep it together. “You know what? Just forget it.” He ducked his head as he shoved his helmet on. Ricky walked away as fast as he could before throwing his skateboard down, jumping on it and riding away.

\--

Ricky had never been so glad to have his government and civics class first period. He had spent all of last night going over every millisecond of his conversation with EJ after school and his conversation with everyone at lunch and worrying about all of it and had come up with a solution: he was going to agree to go out with Sean Rogers.

Was it a perfect solution?

No.

But Ricky was confused, and hurt, and his friends had said this was a good idea, so it’s what he was doing.

He ran into class a few minutes before the bell and slid into his seat, next to Sean Rogers.

“Hey, Sean!” Ricky greeted, rummaging through his backpack for his binder.

“Morning, Ricky.” Sean smiled. Everyone else in the room was talking amongst themselves and not paying attention to the pair, so Ricky took advantage of the opportunity.

“Hey, about yesterday—” Ricky started.

“Oh, no, dude, don’t worry about it!” Sean waved him off. “No hard feelings.”

“I was actually going to say I changed my mind?” Ricky offered.

“Really?” Sean stared at him.

“Yeah, I was kinda caught off guard yesterday and said no before I really processed the question.” He explained, tapping his pen nervously against the desk. “And I’m sorry about that. I’d like to say yes, if the offer’s still good?”

“I—yeah!” Sean beamed at him, sitting up straighter. “Does Friday still work? Like tomorrow?”

“Yeah, tomorrow’s great!” Ricky smiled, making himself relax a bit. He couldn’t shake uneasy feeling settling in stomach that felt like he was doing something wrong. “we don’t have rehearsals on Fridays so I’m free as soon as school ends.”

“Awesome! Does 7 work?” Sean asked. “I’ll come pick you up.”

“7 works.” Ricky confirmed as the tardy bell rang.

“Sweet. It’s a date!”

It certainly was.

\---

Ricky was dreading lunch. He didn’t want to deal with getting asked a million questions about Sean and their upcoming date. But more than that, he didn’t want to be around EJ right now. He wasn’t really sure if he could call it a breakup since they had never officially dated, but it would still be weird to see him.

And the last thing Ricky wanted to do was to rub EJ’s face in it that he, Ricky Bowen, master skater and slacker extraordinaire, was going on a date with the guy EJ wanted to date.

He had been planning to just skip lunch and go hang out in Ms. Jenn’s office but as he was walking there, his phone buzzed with a text.

_You can’t decide to go out with Sean Rogers after all and then not come to lunch!!_

It was from Nini and he knew her well enough to know that if he didn’t show up in the cafeteria, she would come looking for him, so he turned around and headed to what felt like his execution.

Wow, being in the drama club had made him a lot more dramatic.

He walked to their usual table in the cafeteria, forcing out a smile as he sat down. He noted that EJ was absent from their table. A quick glance at the water polo table told him that EJ wasn’t there either. Somehow, EJ not being around didn’t do much to make him feel better.

“There you are!” Nini looked at him, expectantly. “We’ve got so much to talk about!”

“Ricky Bowen, I’m so proud of you.” Carlos smiled at him. Ricky mumbled out a thanks, slightly unsure as to why Carlos was so invested in this.

“When’s the date?” Gina asked. Trust Gina to cut right to the chase.

“Tomorrow,” Ricky had a feeling he knew what the next question would be, so he added: “He’s picking me up.

“What time?” Nini asked.

“Seven.” Ricky was two questions in, and he was already sick of this.

“What are you wearing?” Big Red asked. At the weird looks everyone gave him, he quietly admitted, “I just wanted to be involved, too”

Ricky snorted. He didn’t deserve Big Red as a friend. “I don’t know what I’m wearing. Hadn’t thought about it.”

“Do you want us to come over to help? Because we will!” Carlos offered. Nini and Gina nodded.

“No, I don’t need help. I’ve been on dates before.” Ricky took a deep breath. His patience was waning, and he was trying not to bite someone’s head off. They were just excited for him. They wanted to be supportive. He was lucky to have such great friends. But he also wished they’d let it go. He was only going on this date because they had all told him to.

_And because EJ had told him to_ , added a little voice in his head.

“What made you change your mind?” Seb asked softly after a moment. If anyone else had asked, Ricky probably would have told them it was none of their business and that he was done with this Q&A. But it was Seb. And it was impossible to be mad at Seb.

Ricky shook his head. “I dunno,” He said honestly. “Everyone kept saying I should’ve said yes and… after a while I realized I didn’t really have a reason to say no? So, I figured why not?”

“Ricky, you don’t need a reason to say no.” Ashlyn said slowly. “It’s okay to just _not_ want to go out with someone.”

Ricky nodded again. “Yeah, I know.” Where had she been yesterday? Or even before first period today? But whatever. Ricky wasn’t going to back out of the date with Sean. That would just add more drama to the whole thing and Ricky really didn’t think he could handle that. So instead he said, “can we change the subject please?” And his friends kindly obliged.

\--

The next twenty-four hours saw Ricky in an anxious tailspin. He didn’t like the way he and EJ had left it, that day after rehearsal, but since EJ was now actively avoiding him. EJ didn’t let Ricky get within about ten feet of him before he would glare and walk off. Ricky wasn’t really sure what he could have possibly done to make EJ so mad at him, but it also wasn’t just Ricky that EJ was upset with. He spent all of rehearsal on Thursday lashing out and being angry until he had made a freshman cry and Ms. Jenn sent him home for the day. So, there didn’t seem to be much that could be done about it.

  
He kept trying to get excited for his date, but every time he did, it just felt… _wrong_. He liked Sean, liked hanging out with Sean, but he didn’t really want to date Sean. And it wasn’t like he could call the date off, because it would be really rude to turn someone down, change your mind, then turn them down again and also… Ricky didn’t have Sean’s phone number…

He has no idea how he doesn’t have it, given that they did a whole-ass project together outside of school, but they had never exchanged numbers. And the only person Ricky knew to have Sean’s phone number was…EJ. And there was no way he was about to ask EJ for Sean’s number.

Ricky glanced at his phone.

_5:30_

He’d just gotten back from a few hours of video games at Big Red’s and now realized he had an hour and a half to kill before Sean showed up.

Groaning, Ricky flopped face down on his bed. He was going to let himself have ten minutes of wallowing in self-pity and then he was going to get ready for his date.

Which wasn’t going to take an hour and twenty minutes to get ready for, so he’d have a twenty-minute pity-party, spend an hour being positive, _and then_ get ready for his date.

The twenty minutes turned into thirty and the positivity time ended up being spent looking at memes, but Ricky did have to admit that the memes boosted his mood considerably.

He put on his “date clothes”, which were a lot like his “normal clothes”, except that he’d found them in his drawer and not his floor.

Ricky looked at himself in the mirror and took a deep breath.

He felt better, in general, but he still wasn’t really looking forward to the date. He hoped whatever Sean had planned that it was lowkey.

The doorbell rang and Ricky froze.

Game time.

He checked to make sure he had his phone and his wallet and made his way to the door. He pulled it open, ready to greet Sean with a dumb joke, but it wasn’t Sean.

It was EJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...well? Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!! The third and final part will be up in a few days!


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EJ and Ricky talk things out. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little sad to be posting the final part of this but mostly excited to see what you think of the ending! This is the longest fic I've written and I'm so excited to share it with you!

EJ was a nervous wreck, waiting for Ricky to open the door. He had so many things he wanted to say to Ricky, things he wanted to come clean about. He had prepared six different speeches to give to Ricky but each one had been scrapped before moving onto the next.

And then, suddenly, the moment the door opened, his mind went silent.

EJ hadn’t had a quiet moment in over two days, but one look at Ricky’s (confused) face, and everything else faded away.

“EJ?” He asked, like he wasn’t sure what he was seeing. He looked good, EJ noted. A little tired, but good.

“Yeah…I—uh—I came to talk to you,” EJ fumbled the words, still looking at Ricky – something he hadn’t allowed himself to do the last few days. Not since Ricky had walked away from him, eyes filled with tears, after rehearsal. After everything fell apart.

Ricky nodded, slowly. “I’d love to talk. I think that’s great. It’s just… it’s not really the best time?” Ricky glanced around. “Sean’s gonna be here—”

“Sean’s not coming.” EJ said bluntly, then winced. There had to have been a better way to say that.

“What?” Ricky finally closed the door, so they were both standing on the front porch of the Bowen’s house.

“He’s not coming.” EJ said again. “We talked. He and I—we—I explained some stuff? And now I’m here to explain it to you, I guess.”

Ricky nodded: “Yeah, no I get it.”

Admittedly, that wasn’t the reaction EJ had been expecting. “Get what?”

“You want to date Sean.” Ricky said matter-of-factly. “That’s why you pushed me into it, but then you realized you _could_ date him and now we’re here, so you can... I don’t know, why are you here?”

Now it was EJ’s turn to be confused: “That’s the most ridiculous plan I’ve ever heard. If I wanted to date someone, why would I push someone else into going out with them?”

“I don’t know!” Ricky threw up his hands, “Why would you tell me to go out with Sean like we aren’t—weren’t—whatever we are?” 

That was a good question. One EJ had been asking himself since the words slipped out of his mouth at the lunch table two days previously.

“Because you and Sean have so much stuff in common!” EJ finally said it - the thing that had been on his mind since Carlos first mentioned Sean asking Ricky out. “You both like skateboarding and stuff!”

“You and I have stuff in common,” Ricky said quietly.

“Yeah like what?” EJ scoffed. He hated this. No part of this conversation was going any of the ways EJ had planned it. But EJ should have seen that coming; when it came to Ricky Bowen, nothing ever went according to EJ’s plans.

“Theater, for starters. We think Les Mis is overrated. We both dated Nini. We have sucky home lives that we don’t want to talk about.” Ricky started listing things without hesitation or any sign of slowing down. “We like Dr. Pepper. We like Goldfish more than Cheez-Its. We like action movies and we both stay up way too late. We’re both okay with you being the hot one. I could go on, if you want?”

“I feel like you don’t understand how hot you are.” EJ muttered, half hoping Ricky wouldn’t hear him. He was deflecting and he knew it. He had been taken aback from the list Ricky had just come up with off the top of his head and didn’t begin to know how to process it.

EJ was also just now starting to realize how badly he may have messed up, telling Ricky to go on a date with Sean. EJ knew he was an idiot when it came to relationships, but this was setting a new bar.

“I feel like _you_ haven’t looked in a mirror lately.” Ricky gave him a pointed look.

  
EJ felt himself nodding. Not because he agreed, but because he was tired of fighting and just wanted to tell Ricky why he’d come to his house, instead of the guy he was supposed to go on a date with.

“So, Sean’s not coming,” EJ was looking at Ricky’s feet ( _Vans on a date? There was no way he owned other shoes)_ and even though he couldn’t see his face, EJ knew Ricky was waiting for him to elaborate. “I sorta… told him… about us.”

“What do you mean?” Ricky asked slowly, which was fair. EJ had been very clear from the start that no one was to know about him and Ricky. And he wasn’t even sure if whatever they were even classified as an “us”.

“I don’t want you to date Sean Rogers.” EJ finally looked up at Ricky. He had been expecting to see anger in Ricky’s eyes, but there wasn’t any. He just looked resigned. EJ hated seeing Ricky, the happy-go-lucky boy who always seemed to have a joke ready, look so defeated. “I came out to him, I guess, and then I told him why he shouldn’t…show up tonight.” It hadn’t been a particularly pleasant conversation and certainly not the scenario in which EJ had imagined admitting he liked boys out loud. But it had been for the best, he thinks. It really depended on Ricky’s reaction. 

Ricky frowned, which EJ didn’t take as the most promising sign.

Ricky crossed his arms and glanced around. EJ knew him well enough to know that that mannerism meant he was looking for some sort of pillow to hug – something he only did when he was upset. Which was _really_ not a good sign.

“So… this is it then?”

EJ could have been given a hundred guesses as to what Ricky’s reaction was going to be and none of them would have been that.

“It?” EJ asked.

“Yeah.” Ricky looked at him dully. “You’re here to break the news to me before…what? You and Sean go on your date?

“I don’t wanna date Sean!” EJ blurted out in frustration. “I wanna date you!” How was this so hard for him to understand?

Ricky stared at him, mouth gaping: “…what?”

“I want to date you, Ricky. Not Sean. I wanna hold your stupid hand and go on stupid dates and kiss your stupid face and do all the stupid coupley things,” EJ ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. Suddenly, it clicked for him, what Ricky had thought was happening. That this had all been some confusing way for EJ to date Sean. That EJ was here to end not only his and Ricky’s relationship but also break the news that EJ and Sean were now together. _What an idiot,_ he thought. Then he felt himself deflate: “I wasn’t jealous because Sean Rogers liked you and not me. I was jealous because he liked you and he wasn’t afraid to ask you out. Or for anyone to know that he liked you. And I’m not… I’m not there yet.” There were far too many emotions and feelings in this conversation for EJ’s liking. But it felt good to admit he was scared and insecure, in a roundabout sort of way.

“You don’t have to be.” Ricky told him. “Really, it’s okay. I’m okay with how things are.”

“I’m not.” EJ said shortly.

“Oh…” Ricky took a step back, nodding and fighting back tears. “Okay.”

“No, not like that,” EJ choked out a laugh. Wow, he was bad at this. He took a step forward, putting his hand on Ricky’s face. “I mean I want to come out. I want to be your boyfriend and have all our friends make fun of us when I hold your hand.” _And I really want to kiss you,_ he added mentally.

“I want that too,” Ricky admitted, looking at him, eyes wide. They weren’t sad anymore. “But only if you’re sure. I don’t want you to regret coming out or end up resenting me later.”

“Not possible,” EJ said softly. “I’m sure.”

And he was.

He wasn’t sure he was ready to lead a Pride parade or anything, but was he ready to hold Ricky’s hand in public? To put his arm around Ricky when their friends were all hanging out? To say “my boyfriend” when people asked who he was texting?

Abso-fucking-lutely he was.

“You’re sure that you’re sure?” Ricky asked again. “Because it really is okay if –“

“Ricky.” EJ cut him off, gently. “I’m completely sure. Plus, I already sorta came out to Sean to explain this whole mess to him and after that, telling our friends almost seems easy…”

“Alright, then, you can take the lead on that one.” Ricky snorted and wrapped his arms around EJ, pulling him in for a hug. It had only been like two days but EJ was surprised how much he missed hugging Ricky.

EJ smiled and shook his head. “No way, Bowen. We’re doing it together.” He pulled back from the hug to look at Ricky, who was smiling at him.

“Together?” Ricky beamed. “I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah, me too,” EJ chuckled before he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Thanks for reading! If you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them!

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna come talk HSMTMTS with me, I'm @itsjacobperalta on tumblr and my ask is always open!


End file.
